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Focus on Solutions

How often have you found yourself telling family members & friends "I wish you'd stop doing......." with no success?

In terms of coaching, there is a simple solution. Focus on what you WANT rather than what you DON'T WANT. Tell your loved ones what you want from them rather than what you don't want.

That might seem rather obvious....we energise whatever we focus on.

What may be less obvious, is that the person whose behaviour you want to change, may not know how to accomplish what seems like a very simple task to you.

Take the example of highly intelligent PhD Scientist, Mark McKergow, co-author of "The Solutions Focus" page 39, The Solutions Focus in Action: Crumbs!

"For many years, Mark's partner Jenny used to fret about the crumbs Mark left after cutting a loaf of bread. She kept asking for no crumbs, and Mark continued to leave crumbs. Although this issue was seemingly small, Jenny was determined to rectify it. She was attending various personal development programs at the time and experimented during them on the crumbs problem. She had visualised the crumbs not being there; she had set her outcome; she had examined her inner child - but nothing seemed to help.

Matters came to a head one evening. Jenny asked Mark once again not to leave crumbs and Mark, fed up, exploded, "OK, I give up! I defy you to show me how to cut bread without making crumbs!" Jenny demonstrated not the impossible task of cutting bread without crumbs, but the simple task of clearing the crumbs up afterwards. "Oh", said Mark - and the crumbs were never a problem again. "

Simple changes in perception can create simple solutions!

How can you teach people to fulfill your requests in a way that empowers & acknowledges their goodwill?

© Jesvir Kaur Mahil MBA, Director, University for Life

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