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“Why can’t I make the necessary changes in my life?”
Very often, I get coaching clients who know exactly what they SHOULD
do in order to make a positive change in their lives but for years,
they have failed miserably to put their SHOULDS into action which
leaves them feeling only more frustrated and disappointed in themselves.
This can lead to a spiralling self-esteem….in the wrong direction
of course! So what do I do with clients who have been “shoulding”
all over themselves so they feel small and desperately hopeless?
You might be surprised to hear that the reason they cannot change
is because they are in fact ADDICTED to their negative behaviour (when
negative behaviour is defined as that which prevents them from getting
what they want)…..according to Anthony Robbins, we become addicted
to things that fulfil at least three of our basic human needs (love/connection,
certainty, variety, significance, growth and contribution)
So when a client comes to me and asks “Why haven’t I been in a relationship
for 150 years?” my answer somewhere along the line will have to be
that perhaps they are addicted to being single!! No, I am not talking
about YOU! It just sounds like you! J J
So what does it mean to be addicted to being single? Heard of seminar
junkies? Continually on the treadmill for personal development? Always
striving to learn more and know more about themselves so they can
be in touch with their REAL selves and gain nirvana along the way?
Now I AM talking about you buster! J
Singles junkies (especially if they live alone) are often addicted
because of their needs for certainty….well, as long as the door is
locked, nobody is going to eat their favourite pie or forget to put
the lid on the toothpaste! J……they are also addicted because of their
needs for perpetual growth and significance…..nothing like being a
self-made man/woman who has climbed to the top of the ladder with
no support….makes one feel very important doesn’t it?
For more information about how to meet your needs for certainty, growth
and significance without being isolated and lonely, Click
here to contact me and find out more
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